BJJ Mat Confessions


Let it be known, going to a BJJ class fully fasted, with only coffee for sustiance, and shark week deciding to start earlier that day AND deciding to do open mat after class for a glorious 90 mins of rolling/drills…….

.. Is not so bloody glorious (Ha!… Ew)

When I was wee, I used to have bronchitis… Which was later rediagnosed as exercise-induced asthma. Literally, allergic to exercise. Thankfully it only got triggered with longer distances of running.

No cross-country running for this Kenyan! Yaaaaa!!!!

But I digress. Class was great, developing more options and doing some wonderful flow-styled drills utilising getting out of side control from the bottom with a view to sweep and getting into side control with a view to pass.

If that was about as readable as a Hebrew ingredient list for Japanese moon cake, then just take it as: training was fun.

A new discovery made itself known in the 35-mins of open mat though.

I was rolling with a new female blue belt. She’s pretty feisty and all over the place which disoriented me initially, but I got my hands where they should be and tried to keep my legs out of any sweeps.

It was all fun and games until I started feeling my chest tighten up – no biggie. She’s on mount (on top of me) and I frame up and wiggle to the side to pause/breathe. Still getting tight. Big breaths in through the nose, hard out through the mouth to bring my heart and breath rate down??

Still nothing.

She’s going up into high mount (basically sitting on my chest/collar bone) and fishing for an Americana (kinda gross arm lock submission) I know the drill and start escaping but I can’t breathe. Having no way out to control my breathing caused panic – and you know what a panic moment needs? Air!

Bitch we ain’t got none! We gon die!

So I tap out.

She thinks she did an arm submission, I explain she didn’t and that I think my asthma is coming back.

Whatever, we roll again. And again about 2/2.5 minutes of a good roll go by and again, a slow vice around my lungs creeps in until I have to tap out again. A few seconds and I go in one more time before I admit defeat on this occasion.

Then! The light headedness hits me and I’m like.

“Oh…. It’s gone 2pm and I haven’t eaten since yesterday”

“you haven’t had anything to drink the whole of class either” she says. She’s right.

⌚Schedule a time to eat because your ADHD having ass is not reliable.
🦈Pain killers before class – always, when shark week is involved.
🦐Also go get an inhaler just incase, because we ain’t stopping now. There’s competitions to be had!

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